I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
