what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize