you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
