if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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