Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
