I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
