I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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