hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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