Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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