I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
