Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize