I must be too annoying 4 u.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
