you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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