I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
