Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
