yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
