But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
