turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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