just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
vagina is talking i cant
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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