4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
