508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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