census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
ok first of all what the fuck
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
