oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize