Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
