he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
