The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
