I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
