I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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