Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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