Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
