The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
