I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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