Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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