But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
