Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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