I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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