Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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