What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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