I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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