whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
