i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
