fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
