im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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