the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
