Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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