My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
