I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
