y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
