He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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