I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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