hotel room ftw
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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