why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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