Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
