He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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