Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
