wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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