But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
