exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize