YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
