these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
