Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
me + whiskey = a bad person
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
