She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
