hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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