my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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